What If?
by ShadowKatIceGrl
Summary: What is James and Lily Potter never got married. What is James Potter never finished school? Please R
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Accident

It was a quiet day at Hogwarts. James Potter and Remus Lupin were in the court yard waiting for James' girlfriend Lily Evans and other friend Sirius Blank to go hang out in Hogsmead.

"James, here they come now." Remus said

Lily walked up to James and said, "James can I talk to you in private?"

"What ever you want to say you can say it in front of Remus and Sirius." James replied thinking that what Lily was going to say was going to be something like 'I love you' or something along the lines of that.

Lily shrugged and said, "I want to break up with you James."

"Ha ha Lily very funny, now what did you really want to say?"

"That is what I wanted to say. Also I'm so sick of your 'I'm the greatest thing in the world' attitude. It makes me want to throw up every time I think about you and the way that you waltz around the school like you own the place. I have found someone better. Someone who doesn't ignore me when another girls starts to talk to them." She walks over to Sirius. "It's over James Potter. I don't want to see you anymore. You are a self involved, stupid little boy and I can't believe I even wasted my time with you." Sirius wraps his arm around Lily's shoulders, "now if you will leave me alone I'm going to go hang out with my new boyfriend."

Remus just stood there looking dazes as James started to turn really red in the face. No one saw or heard James pulled out his wand and started to mutter a hex under his breath. Lily and Sirius had already started to walk away and Remus was still in shock that Lily Evans the sweet little girl that he had seen every day in class had said such mean things. They only turned around and looked over at James when they heard his wand blow up into his face. Remus had recognized the hex as one that would only make the person that was being hexed unconscious for a few hours. They watched James fall to the ground and twitch for a few seconds then Remus ran to James side to see if he was ok but he couldn't find a pulse. Apparently when this hex backfires its an instant death to the hexer.

Lily and Sirius looked down at James' body when Remus said he didn't think that James was breathing. Lily just stood there and screamed and buried her face in Sirius' chest as Remus tried to revive him. Headmaster Dumbledore heard Lily scream all the way up I n his tower and was down in the court yard in no time to see what was wrong. When he saw Remus over James' body trying to revive him he helped Remus up and usher him, Sirius, and a hysterical Lily to his office.

When he got back to his office after taking James' body to the infirmary he saw Remus and Sirius sitting in the two chairs infront of his desk and Lily was sitting on the floor holding her knees up and rocking back and forth while saying to herself over and over 'it's all my fault'.

"What happened?" Dumbledore asked calmly as he sat at his desk.

Remus looked at the Headmaster and said, "James and I were in the court yard waiting for Lily and Sirius," he had to stop because Lily was cry to hysterically for anyone to hear what happened. He watched Sirius watch over to where Lily was sitting then continued. "I was the one that saw Lily and Sirius coming. When they got over to us, Lily asked to talk to James alone but he denied." He had to stop once again cause Lily wouldn't calm down by this time she was screaming that it was her fault and nothing that Sirius had tried seemed to help.

Dumbledore stood up went over to Lily and said, "come Lily let me take you back to your dorm so you can sleep." He helped her up and said back to Remus and Sirius "I'll be right back."

About 10 minutes later Dumbledore walked back into his office and said, "Lily will be fine she is sleeping peacefully in her room with the help from a sleeping potion. Let us continue."

Remus started again, " So Lily told him that she was braking up with hime for Sirius. When the two of them turned their backs to walk away I guess James lost it. That's when I realized how upset James must be about what had just happened and I saw James trying to hex Sirius but his wand blew up in his face. We all saw him fall to the ground and twitch for a few seconds and then he didn't move so all of us ran over to him and I checked for a pulse but didn't find one so I started to CRP and then you showed up.

"Well it sounds like it couldn't have been helped. James' parents have been called and they will be here by dinner tonight. That is when I will tell the other students." He looked at Remus and told said that he could go. Remus nodded and stood up as did Sirius to leave. "Mr. Black I would like you to stay for a moment so that I can talk to you in private." Sirius sat back down as Remus left the room. "Now Sirius, did you pull your wand when you realized that James was going to hex you?"

"No, sir."

"So this was just an unfortunate accident. Lily will be extremely upset when she wakes up. I would like you to stay with her tonight and if she wakes up in hysterics you may give her some more sleeping potion. Is that OK with you?"

"Yes, sir." Sirius said as he stood up to go back to the Gryffindor common room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Memory Loss?

That night at dinner Dumbledore told the rest of the students about what happened to James. There was a lot of crying and cursing. Dumbledore decided to cancel classes for the upcoming week so that when ever Mr. and Mrs. Potter decided when the funeral would be the students that wanted to go could do so.

Lily and Sirius weren't in the great hall when Dumbledore told the other students. Lily was still asleep in her room and Sirius was sitting on a chair in her room keeping an eye on her. There was a low knock on the door and the Dumbledore walked in with Mr. and Mrs. Potter. "Sirius, these are James' parents they wanted to talk to you." Sirius looked at Lily who was sleeping peacefully. "Don't worry I'll stay with her." Sirius nodded and followed Mr. and Mrs. Potter out of the room.

"We just wanted to say thank you for being so good to our son. He used to tell us about all the things you two did together." Mr. Potter said.

"James was my best friend… He treated me as a brother and I loved hi for that. I'm extremely sorry for your loss." James' parents said their thanks and goodbyes. Then Sirius went back into Lily's room.

'I can't believe how mad James got, I had no idea he'd try to use a hex.' He said to himself.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Lily began to scream. Sirius ran to the bed and wrapped her in a hug, trying to calm her and when he realized that it wasn't working he put released his hug to pour the sleeping potion into the water glass. Lily had stopped screaming but was now crying hysterically.

"Shh, sweetheart. You'll be ok, here drink this" He handed her the cup and helped her tip it up so that she could drink it. With in a few moments Lily was asleep again, once Sirius was sure that she was dead asleep and would be ok he tip-toed out of the room and went down to the common room.

The next day Lily woke up and went down to the common room where Sirius was sitting by the fire. "Hey," she said as she bounced down the stairs "what's up?"

Sirius was confused as to how she could be so cheerful this morning after what she saw yesterday so he asked, "Lily do you remember what happened yesterday?"

Lily gave a small laugh and replied, "Of course Sirius. We went to Hogsmeade."

Sirius looked at the door and said, "go on down to breakfast and I will meet you down there." Once he was sure that Lily was down the stairs he left the common room and went straight to Dumbledore's office, knocked and then when he got a response opened the door. "Something is wrong with Lily. This morning I asked her if she remembered what happened yesterday and she told me something that happened two days ago."

Dumbledore was quiet for a few seconds then said, "she must have repressed the memory. People sometimes repress a memory that is too painful to remember."

"What should we do?"

"Well, we have two choices; one we can let her think that nothing has happened or two we tell her and hope that she doesn't have a mental breakdown. But you know her better than I do."

Sirius thought for a moment and then said, "I think that she would want to know." He sighed "It won't be easy but I'm willing to help her get through it."

Dumbledore then said, "go and get her and when you are ready you may use my office… it will be empty all day for you to use." Sirius nodded and walked out of the office to go and get Lily.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Breaking the news again and recovery

"Sirius, why are we going to Dumbledore's office?" Lily asked after they left the Great hall.

"I want to talk to you in private." They had reached the spiral stair case and twirled up to the door of the office. When they got to the door Sirius knocked and then opened the door. The room was empty just as Dumbledore had said, so Sirius led Lily to a chair and then moved a chair so it was facing her. Sirius sat down. "Sweetie, before I start let me ask you something. Does the name James Potter sound familiar?"

"Yeah, he's in all our classes. He's also your best friend. I also used to date him."

"Ok well yesterday something bad happened to him." Sirius told her the entire story. When he finished he looked at her and asked, "do you understand what I just told you?" Lily's face was as white as a ghost as she shook her head yes. "Lily please say something…"

"I think that you are lying! How could you lie about something like that?" Lily started to scream at him, "this is really sick joke Sirius. Let me guess, Remus and James are behind this too aren't they?"

"Lily, Sweetie, I would never lie to you ever. Especially not about something as serious and upsetting as this." Sirius said in a calm voice. "I thought you knew me better than that.

"But if its true, why wouldn't I remember it?" Lily said starting to realize that what she was hearing was true. She was starting to remember what had happened. "It was my fault wasn't it?"

Sirius looked up at her eyes and saw her grief and said, "There wasn't anything that any of us could do Lil."

"By why would he hex you? Your… where his best friend?"

"Well, you had been dating him for a few months and then you got tired of his behavior. That's when we started to go out, that day that James was killed by the backfiring hex you had just told him that you and I were together." Lily looked shocked "Neither of us had any idea that he would react like that. It was his own stupidness to try and hex a fellow student." He took a calming breath as he was starting to loose his temper. "It wasn't our fault and it definitely wasn't your fault Lily, I know how much he cared about you and now I know why." "Are you going to be ok?"

Lily looked like she was still in shock but she tried very hard to respond with out crying but she lost the battle, "I don't think so." And she started to cry hysterically on Sirius' shoulder.

They stayed like that until they heard Dumbledore clear his throat. "Is everyone ok?"

"As best as we can me sir. Did you find out the arrangements?" Sirius asked.

"The wakes will be Monday and Tuesday and the funeral will be on Wednesday."

"Thank you sir, for the use of your office. Now if you will excuse us I'm going to get Lily back to the dorms." Sirius said as he helped Lily up out of the chair and out of the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Realizing Who Your Friends Are

The next week was very quiet. Every student at Hogwarts went to the waked, along with some of the ghosts.

On Wednesday, the day of the funeral, about only 100 kids piled into the horseless carriages to go to the funeral. Lily, Sirius, and Remus sat in a carriage by themselves, riding in silence. The past few days had been really hard on them; Remus stopped talking, Lily didn't stop crying, and Sirius occupied his time by staying at Lily's side.

They all arrived at the funeral about 20 minutes later. Once there Remus got out of the carriage and helped Lily out, taking one of her hands as Sirius held her other had. They walked down to the front row to where Mr. and Mrs. Potter where sitting, just as they requested that the three of them do. The funeral began right on time, and after about 10 minutes Sirius looked at Lily and was surprised to see how well she was holding up.

As the minister was saying the last little Sirius grabbed Lily's hand. "Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust…." Lily started to cry hysterically now as she watched them start to lower James' body into the ground. Sirius us looked at Dumbledore with a questioning eye as if to ask, 'should I take her out?' Dumbledore got the message and mouthed 'No'. When the coffin was lowered all the way into the grave, Mr. and Mrs. Potter went up to say their final good byes to their son, then it was Sirius, Lily, and Remus' turn.

Sirius helped Lily up to the grave and held on to her as she said, "James Potter, I'll never forget you." She blew one last kiss into the grave and then collapsed into a pile sobbing. Sirius helped her up and helped her back in the carriage.

The rest of the week Lily refused to leave her bed. Sirius tried to get her up on Saturday morning to go with him and Remus to Hogsmead, "Lily, come on get up. You've been laying there for 2 days."

"Go away Sirius. I don't feel like talking, company, or whatever." Sirius sighed and turned to leave the room.

When he got to the door he said, "Please try to come down for dinner." Then he walked out of the room and went to meet Remus.

An hour or so later Lily was disturbed by her owl screeching from the window. "Snow, please just go away. Just leave me alone!" Snow just ignored her and flew to the foot of her bed and held out his leg. She looked at it and saw a piece of parchment and a small box attached to it. "Fine I give up…" she sat up in bed and took the parchment and the box and opened the note first, it read;

Lily-

I know that you are upset but laying in bed for the rest of your life isn't going to fix anything. I don't want to loose you too. Please, remember that I love you.

-Sirius

Ps: Remus, you, and me will get through this together, I promise.

Lily put down the not and picked up the box. Inside was a necklace that she saw a week ago in Hogsmead that she fell in love with. It was a clear string that held a glass unicorn. She smiled, "Snow, he bought me a necklace to cheer me up." Snow just looked as her as she got out of bed and began to look for clothes. "I've been asking like I was the only one who lost someone special." She finished dressing and left the room after thanking Snow for bringing her the letter and the necklace. She was going down to meet Sirius and Remus for dinner.

"Lily?"

Lily turned around and saw a Slytherin boy; Severus Snape walking towards her, "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say that it's good to see around again."

"Snape, what are you doing?" Remus said as he rushed to Lily's side.

"Remus, calm down he was just welcoming me back," Lily rolled her eyes and said "thank you Severus." She turned to Remus, "Sirius told you to watch over me didn't he?"

"He just didn't want anyone to talk to you incase they brought up…" Remus started

"Go ahead."

"… incase they brought up James. Sirius didn't want anyone to upset you."

"It's ok Remus, I know that Sirius means well but you can't keep everyone from talking to me. It will be hard at first but the memory of James won't keep me in tears for the rest of my life." She linked her arm through his and said, "Now let's go eat."

They entered the dinning hall and saw Sirius sitting in his usual spot, so they went to join him. When he saw Lily he stood up and hugged her as he said, "I'm glad you out of bed, sweetie."

She hugged him back and said, "Thanks for all of your help Sirius." She kissed his cheek, "I think that if you didn't talk to me and stay by my side every moment of the day I would still be in bed feeling sorry for myself." After that they had a good dinner talking about memeories of James.

After dinner Lily pulled Sirius into a dark corner, kissed him on the lips and whispered, "I love you too, Sirius Black. Thank you for the necklace. Just knowing that you cared about me helped me to realize that even though we lost a friend we still have to move on." With that said she walked out of the shadows, followed by Sirius. He grabbed her hand and they went back to the common room.

A/N: Thank you to the 2 of you that reviewed my story. Please keep R&R-ing.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Engangement

About four months had passed since the funeral. Lily was doing great, not one single breakdown. The rest of the students had gotten used to not seeing James in class or hall. Everyone was excited that summer break was coming up in less than a month.

Lily was sitting in the library reading. It was Friday afternoon and she had the rest of the day free, as well as the rest of the seven years. She looked out the window and thought _it's such a nice day out I wonder what Sirius and Remus are up too._

Earlier in the day:

"Lily do you mind hanging out with Molly this afternoon?" Sirius asked, "Remus and I have some thing that we have to do." 

"I guess, but why can't Molly and I come with you guys to Hogsmeade." Giving Sirius the puppy dog look.

Sirius had to look away because he couldn't stand the puppy look. Remus answered her with, "Lily, we are going and doing guy stuff."

"O.K. I guess I'll see you later." She turned her back and walked off to the library.

Sirius and Remus had gone to Hogsmeade on a mission. Sirius was looking for something special for Lily. "What about this?" Remus asked pointing to a light blue dress that was hanging in a window.

"Remus I'm looking for jewelry of some kind. I want tonight to be really special." Sirius had been planning this night for weeks now. "Let's go over the plan again. Tonight after dinner I'm taking Lily for a walk around the grounds and then that's where I'm going to ask her to marry me."

Remus had stopped in front of the jewelry store. "Want to check in here?"

"yeah." They walked into the store and almost right away Sirius saw something that Lily would love. "Rem, look at this, and it's her favorite stone."

"I thought engagement rings were supposed to me diamonds." Remus said.

"Lily would want something different. I think she'll love it." So they bought it and they headed back to the school, because it was almost time for dinner.

Molly had been sitting in the courtyard waiting for Lily, they were supposed to get ready for dinner together. "Molly." Lily yelled as she ran up to her friend. "sorry I'm late I lost track of the time."

"That's OK. You ready?"

"Yep, now lets go up and get ready."

Sirius was extremely nervous sitting at the table waiting for Lily. Finally he saw her enter the room and walk over to him and Remus.

"Hey, guys." Lily aid as she sat down. She could tell by the way that Sirius was staring at her that there was something going on. "Sirius what's up?"

"Nothing, you just look really beautiful tonight." Lily was wearing a baby green short sleeved dress, the necklace that Sirius had gotten her and strappy sandals.

"Thank you."

After dinner Sirius and Lily went for a moonlit walk around the grounds holding hands. "Lil, can we sit down for a few minutes? I want to talk to you about something." Sirius said as he led her to a stone bench. Once she was seated he asked, "We've known each other for a long time right?"

"Yeah, it's been about 7 years we've know each other." Looking at him trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"And I've loved you all of these years. I've been asking myself a lot lately what will happened when school is over and I can't see you that often anymore. That's when I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." He pulled out the box and opened it, "Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

Lily looked at the ring; it was a big heart shaped fire topaz stone sitting on a gold band. She looked as Sirius and said, "YES!" then she held out her hand. Sirius slipped the ring onto her finger, he was so happy he picked her up in a hug and spun her around. Then ran back to the castle to tell all their friends and send an owl to Lily's parents. (A.N.: Sirius' parents are dead)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Planning a Wedding

(A.N. Ok I know that this chapter isn't the best… but I tried. Also sorry that it took so long to get it out, I had writers block. R&R please)

School ended with a huge bang. People talked of nothing else, but Lily and Sirius' engagement. Lily's parents were so excited, when they came for the graduation Lily's mom couldn't stop hugging them.

Lily's dad asked Sirius, "How do your parents feel about the engagement?"

"Daddy!" Lily said

"Lil, it's OK." Sirius said to her and then to her father, "my parents were killed about 3-4 years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that Sirius. Lily never told us or I never would have brought them up." Mr. Evans said kind of blushing.

"So Sirius where are you staying over the summer?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"I'll be staying at my parents house. Well I guess it's my house now. Everything that they had was left to me when they died."

Two days later Lily and her mom were sitting in their kitchen eating cookies and talking, "Did you guys set a date for the Wedding?" he mom asked.

"We want to have it August 29th, so it's before we start work."

"That gives us no time for planning." Her mother said stating to freak out.

"Mom, calm down. We've got 2 months and really all we need to do it get a hall for the service and reception." Lily said as she bit into a cookie.

"Lily, you forgot food, invitations, music, and all that other stuff. And where are we going to get you a dress in that short amount of time."

"Mom, I'm of legal age now." She pulled out her wand "I can do magic in the muggle world. Everything can be conjured and the invites can be owled out. It's faster that way too." Just as she finished talked she heard a popping sound and a thud.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Sirius it's a muggle home you can't pop in with magic." She heard another popping sound and then the doorbell. She walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the front door. When she opened it she saw Sirius standing there holding his head. "Sorry, daddy is still not used to magic in the house. I'll lift the shield later, but at least announce yourself so you don't scare my parents to death."

Sirius followed Lily into the kitchen, her mom was washing plates at the sink. "Mom, Sirius is here."

"What was that thud I heard?" her mom asked as she turned around.

"That would have been me, Mrs. Evans. I forgot about the shield that Mr. Evans had put on the house." Sirius said rubbing where he hit his head.

"I'm going to lift it now, is that OK mom? Sirius promised to announce himself before he pops in." Lily said

"Yeah that's fine." He mom replied

"Scutatus a um abludo ere attollo tollere" Lily muttered the spell.

(A.N.: I got tired of writing Mr. and Mrs. Evans so I gave them names. Mr. Evans Steven; Mrs. Evans Maddy (short for Madelyn)

"Lily, Maddy I'm home." Yelled Lily's father said from the front hall. "Where are you guys?"

"We're in the kitchen Steven." Maddy responded. Sirius and Lily were sitting at the table deciding what color the flowers should be. Steven walked in the kitchen

"What are you three up to in here?" Steven asked as he walked in.

"Working on the wedding dad," Lily replied "Sirius and I are trying to decide on a flower and color." Her father nodded as he sat down. Lily looked up at Sirius and said, "You're starting to get a bump."

"Lily, what have I told you about beating up men?" Steven said jokingly.

Lily looked annoyed and replied to her father, "He forgot about the magic shield around the house."

"Oh, sorry Sirius. I'll owl Dumbledore and have him lift it."

"No need sir, Lily already lifted it." Then he looked at Lily and said, "What about light pink and white lilies for the wedding." 

"That will look pretty." Maddy said. As she turned around to give her input she dropped a plate that she was washing.

Lily tried not to laugh as she said, "Mom, why don't you let me and Sirius cook dinner and take care of the dishes." She handed her mom the invitations that she got this morning, "You and daddy can fill these out." He mother looked happy and practically bounced out of the room with her father right behind her.

"Lil, you know we could have just added the names by magic right." Sirius said.

"Yes, I know." She sighed "but look how happy mom is. She's really upset that she can't do a lot to help with the wedding. Come on lets fix dinner." She said as she put on her mom's apron.

(2 months later: Wedding day)

"Mom, You almost ready?" Lily asked from her room where she was putting the finishing touches on her hair. She was already in her wedding dress; it was a silky white flowing dress that fit her like it was made just for her.

Maddy walked in and said, "I'm having a little problem getting ym hair right. Can you help me?" Lily picked her wand up from the vanity table where she was sitting and waved it over in her mom's direction and her hair instantly became wavy curls help out of her face by a crystal and gold clip.

"Thank you honey, it's beautiful." She said as she looked in the mirror. Then she turned to look at Lily and with tears in her eyes she said, "You look beautiful, just like a princess."

"Thanks mom." She stood up from the stool and gave her mother a hug and they stayed like that until they heard the door bell ring.

"Lily, Molly's here." Steven yelled up the stairs.

"Come on up Molly." Lily yelled back. A few moment later Molly walked into the room. "You look lovely." Molly blushed as she looked down at the floor. She had conjured the dress just this morning, it was a dark blue color with little sparkles on it. To Lily it looked like part of the night sky had fallen onto Molly's body.

Lily's father walked into the room, "It's time Lily." Lily linked her arm through her father's and they started to walk down the stairs and out to the yard.

The music was playing and Molly walked down to take her place at the alter and then Lily and her father. As Lily was walking she saw Sirius and smile, the look on his face was telling her that he choice of a dress was just right. When they got do the alter she whispered to her dad, "I love you."

"I love you too, my little princess." He replied then he kissed her cheek. Then he handed her arm to Sirius and said, "Take good care of her Sirius."

"I will sir." Was his reply and the ceremony began.

Lily and Sirius had decided to have a wizard's ceremony. And they asked Dumbledore performed it. There isn't really a big different between the two, just that one is done by magic and last all of about 10-15 min. while the other last 1-2 hours.

After the ceremony, all the guests went back to Lily's parents house. There was food and dancing through out the night. After the reception Lily said good bye to her parents and left with Sirius to go to her new home. When they arrived Sirius helped her out of the car and carried her through the doorway.

(A.N.

(Scutatus a um abludo ere attollo tollere is Latin for 'shield be lifted')


End file.
